Learn fr Yesterday..Appreciate Today

this is an extract fr Suna's blog..

"Hurm…dah hampir 3 minggu kat umah. Saper tak best dok goyang kaki je dengan family ter’chenta’…tapi kalo dah lam2 sgt, buhsan pun mula bertandang. Sekarang rasa mcm tak sabar2 nak keja. Setiap interview yg dihadiri mesti dengan harapan yang berbunga2…

Tapi, bila dah hampir dengan dunia kerjaya, mcm2 cerita plak yg aku dgr. Kawan2 yang dah mula kerja semua kata tak best…huhu…semua nak balik pd zaman belajar. Agaknya, mcm tu jugak kah aku nanti??

Manusia mmg tak pernah puas dgn apa yg ada. Aku penah tanyer ayah, dlm byk2 zaman yg dia lalui, zmn mana plg best?….jwapan dia best bg aku….ayah kata, semua zaman yg dia lalui adalah best dan bermakna

hargailah apa yg ada pd kita sebelum kita kehilangannya….be happy with ur life ;p ( July 5th 2007) "

That is very like me..always like my past live, and never like to live in present day. But then, when today is gone, I'll be missing today,later.

I have thought bout this..while I'm in the bus going somewhere to KL maybe.. I know me, very2 well.. y'know during those time i'm at home, doing the job hunting, like suna said, after some time it is bored to death-spending time at home while all my friends are already offered with job. and then..she got offered, then me..then fisza and now, we're missing our UTP life.

To be honest, I never hate my life in UTP. Can't deny I enjoy the semester break-going back to Langkawi, spend time with my family and catss..though feeling a little sad when I have to go back, I never truly don't want to go back. Coz I like my life there. UTP is the thing I'm proud the most happened to me, in my life.Even during internship, I just can't wait to go back into student life. What to hate? I have friends..i enjoy time with them so much..having my own room.. living the hour to my liking..I miss those so much.
--> though i can't deny, that extend semester is never my choice. as much as there are things that could make my life fun there, UTP without my rumet and my best friends would never be the same.

If only I could be like Suna's dad (pakcik Khalid..), whom appreciate all his years. I certainly don't have those strength.. but I do miss my past time. even my childhood which at that time don't seem great..then my high school..when i being admired,hehe and those time I scored my exam-seemingly very clever!haha.. then UTP-my proudest momento..then being at home while job hunting- it is soooo torturing back then, but now..I think I kinda like it. ahhaha..esp when I got to drive wherever i like. hehe.. I guess when you look back, life don't seem that hard. when you're living it, when you actually have to face it, then situation is rough, you'll start reminiscing your past. erm..yup..i think its so true.now..my now is not that lame. though not with petronas like most of my batch, i still have work and i don't go far from being an engineer. i have my own money and i can be considered as independent, only i don't have all. yet what i dont have, is the most important thing- i don't have friends, i don't have someone i really close to. so unlike my utp years where i always have fisza and mimie and suna.. and time before utp where i live with family.

And i think this is the only reason i feel what feel right now. always wanting to spend time at the cinema.. always want to go out doing something while wanting to do nothing too.. i feel empty. i hate feeling empty. and this feeling is exactly the feeling that makes me reminiscing bout the past even more. -- this is the very reason suna pray for sb special right? but i love being single without commitment.. spending time with jaja..only, that's not enough.

then, i guess i have to find friends, to make friends even more. I'm not sure bout wanting a bf .. i don't have one yet. for now, i just hope i can fill the emptiness.. with whatever that would fit. I want to be alive, and living this life to the fullest. (bee and bird story, colorful life? sorta but for this e.g, yuks..)