raksasa bermata hijau

never would have thought i would become one of those monster whose eyes are green..

i kept this to myself coz i don't think it is siyesli what's happening here. i used to think i'm just being one of the girl who worry too much. but.. as i found myself keep on worrying the same thing from time to time.... i don't think i am worrying over nothing.

i understand. i'm one of the alternatives.. who is just happen to be available at that time, at the right moment.. i'm blaming myself for that. from the moment it has started, i always pray for the feeling to cease. but it's not. and now.. here it goes again.. the alternatives.. a replacement.. could be the environment..could be of age.. could be time.. or maybe it is because of the nasihat that one's friend given and one have given a thought.. "betul jugak tuh.."

...i don't know. i siyesli don't know. the only way i see it is to forget about this..even if my eyes are now green.. i should put my lenses on..turn it into black. ignore this. nope chica..it's nothing. nada. nil. plz forget about this. or the better.. forgot.

sometimes i hope.. i siyesli hope. though i don't really have much effort towards it..but i hope and almost wish.. if and only if. if and only if...

i don't want to ask much. just give me no reason for me to become one of those monster who i myself dreaded the most. i siyesli putting up my effort to not let it seem obvious. please don't give me reason to become one of those.. please.. so that don't have to put on a fake happy face - but of course... i never put a fake happy face on if i don't feel up to it..but at least..i don't have to hurt anyone having to see my muka ketat without actually know why.

p/s : green has never been my fave color!

p/p/s : it is just a fantasy or ....?