MERDEKA!! (fr th v issue?)

*dlm flight kl-lgkawi dgn jaja

erm..merdeka. merdeka. 25 yr of merdeka.

the veri issue that bothers me..veri bothering indeed. no matter how hard i try to put it aside...it is still bothering and annoying at times.

at times when the issue being talked.
at times when there's stuff going on related to it.
at times when i saw the happiness out of it.
at times when i feel alone n lonely.
..actually, most of my time!

having a choice whether to make it happen or otherwise, clearly.. the choice i have made isn't the one that will bring myself into actually have it. and as i always think... i couldn't bring myself into looking. i am looking when there's sth to look..but when i am soooo determined yet it is just 'for display'...i rather keep me shut!

having s1 who is a boy and a friend, keeping me at ease, rather a lot. while i like it to develop, i have no idea what it'll eventually turns out. like i said.. i take when i should, i give when i could-while having fun at it too. so..while others like my hair, my walk..my way of talking and what not..i like to have me who is merdeka fr my one and veri own issue. and while i'm at it, i'll learn not too care that much. i am sooooo in no-need-to-worry state. livin my life. livin the life. though it's the MAIN issue, the combination of other issues are rather in much bigger proportion than this one, so..

may i MERDEKA. i want to MERDEKA.

while i choose to not have any control over it, why shld i care that much? no control..rite? get a life!