i think this is the time.

i like my overall job scope at BPSP. i seriously never like my job more than here in BPSP. i feel like i can understand it better and with help from my colleagues, i can almost get things done in a way that i can understand the why and the how. 

BUT.. 

this very project which tought me a lot, also give me a lot of hard time. to the point it makes me think of why this is super difficult and why i hasn't get something smooth running this project all.the.time. 

i can almost sense that my tender for surveyor somehow going to that direction. but i can't force everyone to work the way that i want. i just don't have the pushy character in me yet (and i think i really need to work on this) it should've been put more force if it weren't by me, right? it would've get the appoinment letter out by now, if it was somebody else's. 

i guess.

so, i decided when the LP is not going to bersidang tomorrow due to MCO full lockdown, then i will fill up the SISWA and asked to be transferred out. i think this project should get it's better chance under somebody else's. 

i am not running away. for all i know, i like it here too much to move anywhere else ever. but i am not a tree and this thing is something bigger than just me. if i couldn't perform, might as well i let somebody else do it. without proper guides and helps from my superiors also won't help much. let the project have a new team to begin with, for they will take more responsibility themselves and may come out with better solutions instead of just me laying out everything. 

i can still learn a lot from the project, but i guess i better get things that i can do done and be done with it. 

there's always first time for everything

so..i submitted my permohonan just now and if this is what it should be, may Allah ease this permohonan and may I love what i am going to venture at my new posting. 

Amin.